Guidance: He always said if this is the hardest thing that we have to go through we are going to be more than fine in life

Ephesians 3:16-19
     "I Pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filed to measure of all the fullness of God."

This year I have truly put my faith in the Holy Spirit.  As I reflect on all the good things that I received, I come to the realization of how limitless the spirit of God really is. He is so good to me! In order to really look at how my life has benefited from the Holy Spirit and God, I have to travel back in time to June 29th, 2012, when I jumped on a plane to Houston, TX.  I had just finished taking the LSAT about a week and half earlier, and I was eager to see Josh.  The plane arrived late in the evening with all my luggage.

Earlier that week, my parents had informed me that I either move out or start paying rent. I had come home to study for the LSAT for about a month and a half. After the exam, I needed to decide what I was going to do. So I decided to pack my bags and move back to CO.

As, Mr. Bob Roth elaborately stated in one of his articles titled, Are You Raising A Self-Sufficient Student?, ..."children who are more mature listen carefully, analyze information, see other points of view, use good judgment, see the big picture, make sacrifices, help their friends and do the right thing. These students respect their parents and value their opinions and suggestions. Self-sufficient students display a maturity beyond their age."  In my parents views, self-sufficient means also being independent financially.  I didn't want to pay my parents rent, nor did I want to stay in a house as an unwanted invitee, so I quickly packed up my items.

Now my parents are generous. I grew up knowing that generosity comes with sacrifice. I was taught to save so that I could always provide myself with the basics.  Saving my money taught me to cherish the simple moments like the sunshine, the wind rustling the tree leaves, an embrace of a loved one that you have not seen for a while, and the like.  Most moments that we cherish and memories that we have do not center around specific things, but rather people. What I mean is that, in the end, no matter how things or items you are able to purchase, how much stuff you can accumulate, the moments with the people, nature, and animals are the only things that you truly collect. You should savor all the moments in which you have stepped out of your life and thought about who you are and who you've been so you can become closer to who you should be. 

I have so many moments that I cherish, but I want to go over specifically my moments within this past year.  Getting back to June 29th 2012, I stepped out of the Houston Airport Baggage Claim late in the evening, in search of a person I had never met. Josh was not able to arrive until the next morning. So he had a friend pick me up.  I will never forget how relieved I was to see Rusty waving.  He had parked behind the second lane pickup stop, not realizing how much luggage I had till he saw it spew all over the paved median.  I had packed my entire closet so that I could attempt to move back to CO. I just stood there laughing at myself - of course, you should never pack more than you can carry, but then again how are you going to move across country completely financially independent.  I tell you how, cheaply.  You spend your savings on two extra luggage bags to be tossed onto a plane. I knew why Josh was friends with Rusty he is a great easy going guy and that honestly was exactly who I needed to pick me up from that crazy busy Houston Airport.

The next morning, started off great! I met Josh's mom and B-Man. His mom and Bernie are amazing. I am forever grateful to that wonderful day that they arrived to pick me up and take me to the airport to see Josh. I will never forget seeing him walk out of the arrival area.  He was so happy to see me! You see earlier that evening Josh drove from 1am after working about an eight hour shift to Denver arriving around 4am to the Denver airport. He boarded the plane at 6am and arrived around 11am. Can you imagine? God protected him all the way to the airport. As I think of all that could have happened, all that did happen was way better than I could have ever imagined it!

Later that afternoon, I met almost everyone at Pappadeaux's.  Josh's mom side of the family is so lively and sweet, oh! and most importantly, funny!    The weekend became even more sweet when I met Josh's Dad and Janie.  His dad always carries a smile and laughs so heartfully.  In fact, all Josh's Aunts and Uncles on Janie's side were full of smiles, kind and encouraging words and fun stories.  Everyone that I met had witty anecdotes mixed with loving comments - everyone including Josh's friends were full of just goodness.

Josh was born into the Jackpot when it comes to family.  But most importantly, I had hit the Jackpot of Guys when it comes to Josh.  As I reminisce on all the stories from his family and friends, it seems like Josh got the best from all his family and friends.

After that weekend, I was so excited to move back to CO.  I "temporarily" moved in with Josh, which was never the plan, but God had a plan.  I tried to find work as soon as possible.  I rushed into a job that was futile and plainly not right, but God decided to open the door to a job, where I was warmly welcomed. The job was business based.  I was blessed with a business trip to Chicago and learned all about setting up a business - extremely important.  God was just paving the path for me. The living situation for Josh and I was hard. We had a roommate situation that was not ideal, but Josh always had faith and hope.  I cannot tell you how important that is.  Josh is the most faithful person I know.  He believes that everything is always going to work out.  He always said if this is the hardest thing that we have to go through we are going to be more than fine in life.  We are fine, thank God and thank all those who lovingly helped us. 

What Josh and I have been through is nowhere near hard, but I had just left all my comforts.  I left my family in Wisconsin, and I had left knowing that I was termed "financially independent."  I did not know how different it would be to not be able to call my dad or mom and say how tough things. If I did call my dad, I would get the answer, "you will figure it out.  This is only going to help you grow."  I kept fighting that statement. Thinking, "how does being financially independent, but not stable help you grow?"  Finally, in December, I moved out to my own place.  I had new challenges, but I was proud that I could provide for myself. I was proud that I could buy Christmas presents.  God provided for me and in return, I gave back to him.  I wanted to be able to give to others and I wanted to have as many moments filled with unconditional love as possible. 

Every great memory that I have with Josh revolves around the two of us doing and making things possible so that we can enjoy being surrounded by all those that we love and cherish.  From the walks, the free summer concerts, the holidays, the birthdays, the weddings, the bike rides, trips to visit those that we love, the car rides, to the little things like the pictures of the sunsets that he takes, the grocery store trips, sitting out in the warm sun together, God provided all those experiences for us to enjoy together. I am so thankful for God and he really is limitless.  There are so many experiences even within the past month like asking God to see Cary one more time and I got the chance before she passed, asking God to keep Josh safe so that I could see him for his 29th Birthday in 2012, asking for the chance to see my sister this past summer, and even asking God to help me throw a birthday party that Josh would enjoy for his 30th.  He gave me all of Josh's family and friends.

Everytime I have prayed to God and said God please help me, I have no idea how to do this. I don't know what to do.  God always provides and he provides me more than I could ever imagine.  I sit down to write a blog today, and I feel so thankful that all the people whom I have had the beautiful opportunity to meet within this past year are so blessed and I pray that you are given an abundance because you truly have made an impression in my life - a very good impression. Thank you again for your sincere kindness, genuineness, and love. I pray that Josh and I will someday soon be able to give and provide just as generously as you have taught us so that the cycle never ends.

It is Time to Start Blogging Again...

As a young adult, I feel lost. I feel like I should have a "college" educated job, which I get paid enough to afford a vehicle without going into debt. I want to explore and travel.  I want to have a job where I feel like I am doing something to benefit others instead of condescendingly telling customers our policies and terms.  I know that so many of us go to college, maybe, when we are not quite ready. I went to college because I was accepted into the greatest school located in Wisconsin - The University of Wisconsin-Madison.  I went because I wanted to be a college athlete; I wanted to succeed as a rower. I worked incredibly hard to be a rower. I told myself that I would never take myself too seriously and I would never think of myself as good, but only getting to be good.  I didn't realize that getting injured would be my downfall in a sport that I still cherish today. Rowing truly helped me overcome alot of my insecurities and it made me confident not only in my physical abilities, but also in my academic abilities.   With that confidence, I decided my final year of college to undertake a directed study with an acclaimed Native American Professor. I learned blue code book citing, and I learned how the law works, which is not clear to many who abide by the laws or to many who break laws. I found myself engaged in law and what the law offers.  After graduating, I set my heart on being something.  I wanted to go to law school.  I still do! However, I have a fear of debt. I have never been in debt, which is rare, for America is the most indebted country. Instead of studying for the LSAT directly out of college, I took a detour and landed in Colorado.  I met the love of my life, and he has been my biggest cheerleader. I decided to study for the LSAT, while having fun skiing in the Rockies, and scored high enough to get into the law schools that I wish to attend. Unfortunately, not high enough to receive funding.   I am now at a place in my life where I feel I have reached a crossroad.  For the past year, I have been working at a job, where I sit all day and stare at a computer screen while answering calls of customers, where half the time I insist that there are terms and conditions, and therefore I cannot assist them. I don't wake up excited to start the day, but rather sleep in trying to decide if I should get up.  I have never had a sick day at my job. I have only taken off work for travel.  So I am looking inward. Why do I live out in CO, away from family and friends? That answer is easy - to be with the man I love.  Why did I take my current job?  I wanted to have a "big girl" job. I thought this job was going to open an opportunity for a different job.  If I could do anything in CO what would I do? That is what is unclear.  If I am going to live in this gorgeous place, I need to revise my goals.  I need to choose happiness, regardless of what I think I should be doing.

Do you have a set of beliefs that are influenced by what you think others will think of you?  Perhaps you have parents who have achieved much in the career and academic world?
What would you do if you could do anything in the location where you currently reside?